Before we begin our official investigation, there’s something you should all know about Daniel, our esteemed Head of Marketing, – the man likes his sweets. He’s particularly fond of the chocolate cookie variety and can always be found with a full box on his desk, in his bag, or in the fridge. It was his birthday recently and he received not one, but two chocolate cakes at the office. Saying that he likes chocolate is the understatement of the century, it would be like saying that bees like flowers, when in truth they couldn’t survive without them.
With this bit of context out of the way, we can get back to our story.
Last week, Daniel was out of the country working from our Bali office. Originally based out of Singapore, he goes to Bali once a month to work with the other half of our team and inspect villas, fix the routers, eat some Nasi Campur, etc…basically, he ensures that we’re running a tight ship.
After spending a week in Bali, he landed in Singapore on Monday morning, and made his way to our office in Chinatown, where he was greeted with the traditional “hellos” and “how’d you dos”. He looked happy to be back and we all chitchatted a bit before getting back to work. Nothing unusual up to this point.
We started noticing that something was wrong around 11.44am. White-faced and trembling, he was frantically searching his desk, the shelves, his bag, and the various nooks and crannies of the office. We all looked at him in silence, wondering what was wrong and how bad it could possibly be, when he turned to us and said the four words that no Villa-Bali.com employee ever wants to hear –
“Where are my cookies?”
Uh-oh.
Two thoughts come to my mind simultaneously – first, who had the cojones to take his cookies? And second, as the person sitting closest to him geographically, and having watched my fair share of Law & Order, I know I am the obvious suspect. I instantly put on my “I am innocent” face and start searching for a potential alibi. Thing is, it’s pretty hard to find an alibi that covers you for an entire week. Then I remember that, that particular week, I sat at another desk, far away from Daniel’s. Ah, to be vindicated! I am a free woman, cleared of all wrong doing.
Now, who better to be the detective, the judge, and indeed, the jury of this investigation than the one person who has thus-far been proven innocent? No one, right?
Join us for our own version of Singapore Cluedo, except instead of Colonel Mustard killing someone with a knife in the library, a box of cookies has been absconded in Singapore by an, as of yet, unidentified individual.
The Facts
– From Monday, March 16th to Monday, March 23rd 2015, Daniel is in Bali, Indonesia. His cookies are left unguarded.
– During the same time period, the unopened and innocent box of cookies goes missing.
– There are 7 potential suspects.
The Victim
The Suspects
The week that the cookies went missing, there were only 7 people in the Singapore office. We will take a hard look at these individuals to come to the bottom of this horrible crime and find out, once and for all, who took Daniel’s cookies?
Suspect #1 – Lin
Next to me, Lin is the second closest to Daniel in terms of geographical location. She had easy access, means, motive (who doesn’t like cookies?), and opportunity. The obvious suspect, she has vehemently denied any involvement in the abduction. However, as our freelance journalist, she has written enough pieces on crime and corruption to know how to cover her tracks. Even if she is not the culprit, her presence and proximity to the scene of the crime make her a witness. After a grueling 8 hour interview with the lead investigator of the Cookie Retrieval Taskforce, Lin admits that, thanks to her peripheral vision, she saw someone approach Daniel’s desk on Wednesday. She has been released by investigators and has been cautioned to stay in town for future questioning.
Suspect #2 – Sahidah
Sahidah is our part-time Marketing and Communications intern, and she only comes to the office on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. This means that her window of opportunity was noticeably smaller than the rest of our suspects’. However, during those two days she made multiple trips between my desk and hers, located right next to Daniel’s. She definitely had the easiest access, and her repeated movements means that no one would question her approaching Daniel’s desk. After being interviewed by investigators, she admitted to borrowing a pen from Daniel’s desk (gasp) but denied any knowledge of the missing biscuits, going so far as to say that she did not see them on his desk.
Suspect #3 – Jason
Jason is our business controller and sits a little further away from Daniel’s desk, noticeably restricting his access. However, Jason did complete two years National Service with the Singapore military. He claims that he “sat behind a desk and didn’t participate in any active operations”, but we’re not so easily fooled, we know the man’s a spy. And any decent spy is capable of stealing a pack of cookies. However, cracking a spy is a lot harder than interrogating civilians and Jason is firmly maintaining his innocence. Witnesses have placed him at his desk every day during our window, but we’re not a 100% convinced. He remains at the top of our suspect list.
Suspect #4 – Nathalie
Nathalie is a dedicated Travel Consultant and one of our earliest employees. She sits further away from Daniel than our other suspects, but, having known Daniel the longest, she enjoys playing pranks on him. This, combined with the fact that two days out of the week Nathalie stayed 2 hours later than the rest of the employees, means that she had definitive means, motive, and ample opportunity. Don’t be fooled by her, a serial cookie abductor could be hidden behind that sweet smile. She also claims that she never saw the cookies and maintains her innocence. I wish someone would just fess up to the crime!
Suspect #5 – David
David is our CEO so he definitely didn’t take Daniel’s cookies.
And even if he did, well he was in the right. Because he’s always right. And that’s not because he’s my boss. Not at all.
Suspect #6 – Julia
Julia is another one of our brilliant Travel Consultants. She’s currently working mornings only as she’s just back from maternity leave! But then again, maybe she just used that as her cover while she built her network of international cookie smugglers…If she did, she is clearly the smartest person in this office. However, she was sitting very far away from Daniel’s desk during the week he was absent, and she was here only mornings, making it very hard for her to approach the scene of the crime without being spotted.
Suspect #7 – Serena, aka, yours truly
I would be remiss in my duties as an investigator if I didn’t consider myself as a suspect from an objective point of view. But, let’s be honest, could I look more innocent? I don’t think so. Either way, I was seated far, far away from the scene of the crime and no witnesses could confirm or deny my presence anywhere near Daniel’s desk. The picture of innocence, I tell you.
The Findings
As the investigation draws to an end, we have a clear picture of the events that took place at 55A Pagoda Street during the week in question. But who amongst our suspects is culpable? Was it Jason, the international spy? Julia, the new mom? Nathalie, the innocent Travel Consultant? Lin, the sweet-faced freelance journalist? David, the boss? Sahidah, the part-time intern? Or was it like Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express – a crime committed by all our suspects?
Sadly, the truth is a lot less…glamorous than we imagined.
No one ever saw these cookies…so we’ve come to the conclusion that Daniel was experiencing severe symptoms of withdrawal due to lack of cookie consumption while in Bali and therefore hallucinated the very existence of said cookies. Either that or Jason took his cookies and we’ll never find the bod- ahem, the empty wrappers, because Jason is just that good.
Conclusion?
Don’t get between this man and his goodies.
