What I’m about to say next is a bold statement, but one that needs to be said nevertheless. I have found the best burger in all of Bali… There. I said it.
Living away from your home country certainly stirs up deep cravings for whatever type of cuisine you don’t have access to anymore, i.e. quality Mexican food and IPA beer if you’re from the state of California. But that’s a different post for a different day.
Throughout my time living here in Bali, I have also been surprised to find that it is actually quite difficult to get a memorable burger anywhere, ‘memorable’ being the key term. Most are pretty average and lacklustre, and you usually just walk away feeling like you cheated on an American burger back home. But after some 15 odd months of roughing it, I am happy to announce the struggle is over. I have found my memorable burger, and it has found me.
May I present you with the genius that is a Habitual burger. With the motto, “Quench & Feed”, the gals and fellas at this Umalas hole-in-the-wall joint sure as heck know what they’re doing. Classically American in style, Habitual’s burgers are gourmet, juicy and indeed appetite quenching. Offering a comprehensive breakfast and lunch menu, Habitual boasts a variety of burgers to choose from, ranging from a walnut burger with onion jam to a Kaffir lime chicken option and a spicy green chili cheese burger. While those all sounded intriguing, my vice this particular afternoon was the one advertising a beef patty sandwiched in between sautéed mushrooms, cheese, bacon and carmelised onions. Are you drooling yet?
Before I give you my official feedback on this Habitual burger, you should know my review comes from a place of scientific experimentation and unbiased objectivity, not from an amateur, wannabe food critic, no way. I’ll even show you the internationally recognized rating rubric so you can replicate this trial with other dishes and locations!
The Best ____ (food item) in ____ (name of city/country/world) Guidelines:
1. Presentation: Though you’ve probably been told at least once in your life to not judge a book by its cover, this rule does not apply for burgers. Not at all. The look of a burger is not just very important for aesthetic purposes, it is a key indicator of the quality you are about to experience 99% of the time. To my delight, Habitual’s mushroom burger presentation nailed it, quite literally. It arrived to my table impaled by a large steak knife, the drama staged on a wooden cutting board with a metal basket of piping hot french fries by its side. Well done sirs, well done.
2. Sustainability: The second and possibly most crucial aspect of a memorable burger is its cohesiveness. Does it remain one, handheld element the entire time you’re eating it, or does it disintegrate into a thousand pieces of beef shrapnel indistinguishable from its original state. Again, this burger passed with flying colors; not only did it stay together the whole time, I was even able to cut it in half without it falling apart or toppings choosing sides. Quite a feat for a burger standing the height of the new iPhone 6 plus.
3. Partners in Crime, aka Side Dishes: Side dishes are a key factor to any main course, and french fries are no exception. They’re the Robinhood to Batman, the cream to the coffee, the best to the friend – what is a great burger without even better french fries by its side? Habitual’s french fries were thin, crispy and served their purpose well as my burger’s wingmen. They even had French’s yellow mustard to mix with my ketchup. Perfection.
4. Taste: Last but definitely not least, we have the star of the show: the taste. Habitual’s combo of mushrooms, cheese and onions paired with a fresh, lightly toasted bun = heaven in your mouth. My feet tend to do a little quick-paced dance when I get excited about food, and believe me, my entire legs were groovin’ to every bite of this masterpiece.
Having checked the 4 mandatory guidelines for a perfect burger, Habitual fulfilled both my body (because I was hungry) and my soul (because if I went another month without a good burger, who knows what would have happened).
Important: Habitual will be closed for the next two months to do some much needed renovation. They will reopen in June with a new look, added items to their menu, and burgers delicious as ever! P.s. they’re also closed on Mondays.
